September 21, 2021
You probably can't see through the smile into the heart of fear that was within this little girl. She hid it well. She hid the trauma and years of sadness and loneliness. She hid the feelings of unworthiness that came as a result of early childhood abandonment and abuse. But through her life of ups and downs, through grownup problems of divorce, financial difficulties, sickness, and then a near death experience, her lifetime of struggle gave her something that has been so needed today... and that is courage.
This scared little girl persevered through the years and grew courage. It's when all that matters to you has been stripped away, when all seems lost and you have nothing more to give, THAT is when you fall to your knees and scream to god, "HELP!" Or in my case, it was, "TAKE ME HOME!" And trust me, God, the Universe, Divine Intelligence, will give you what you ask for, whatever it is. I know because it happened to me. I began the trip "home", to the veil that separates this life and the next. And when that happened, when I had my near death experience and traveled to the brink of death, I was convinced by an angel on the other side that my children loved me. I was told that they needed me, and then was told that I have free will, to come back and continue this thing called life if I so choose. And so I did. I chose my family. I chose to return. I chose courage to come back and tell my story.
Upon waking, I was cradled like a baby in the arms of my dear friend Wendy. She gently stroked my face as she prayed over me and gave thanks for my return. In those moments that I faced heaven, I lost all fear of death. Heaven on the other side, is a grand collection of love, of consciousness, or joy. The REAL heaven though, is the state of mind we are in when we are in our most profound place of joy and bliss right here on Earth.
When I gave birth to each of my children, I was in pure bliss that moment the doctor put my newborn baby on my belly. The day each of my children stood before their partner and professed their love on their wedding day, these also were moments of pure bliss for me. Standing in Maui, at the heart of the Buddha garden, looking out over the pristine waters of the pacific, feeling like I was important to a total stranger, feeling loved after years of abuse and trauma came to a head, being showered with compassion, was my place of bliss, my heaven on Earth. And that unconditional love and compassion is what helped the healing that was so needed in my life at that time.
This past year, as the World has faced a great call to adventure, a sickness, or a "pandemic" as some say, each person, individually, has had opportunities to face fear or let it devour them. In my world where death has no control over me, where I know that only greater love awaits me after the change called death, I have been gifted the opportunity to demonstrate my courage. There is no death, only transformation. There is no virus, only negative thought forms.
Over the last ten years of my life, I developed a faith, a KNOWING, that love heals. I developed an understanding that the only thing to fear, IS fear and through courage, through love, through bliss, we can create a different world. And so it is that I stand FEARLESS, assisting people in this most difficult. time, offering my experience and wisdom to help others become FEARLESS.
May you reader find your courage today and become FEARLESS knowing love can transform all hate, all sickness, all sorrow, all suffering. May love find you and give you courage. And may we together create heaven on Earth.
I love you,
The Heroine's Journey; a tale of love, forgiveness, and the implications of universal laws AND
Return to Ho'oponopono; a pocket guide to ancient healing