November 28th, 2023
Dear Reader,
This was our last morning at Dr. Joe Dispenza's week long Advanced Retreat in Orlando and the beautiful smile of this volunteer angel is what I saw when I opened my eyes as Dr. Joe directed us to during the last walking meditation of the week.
It was a powerful week of meditations with each session bringing greater awareness, greater insights, and layers of trauma being peeled back and healed. This last day at the retreat began at 6am in a ballroom at the Gaylord Palms Resort & Convention Center. Dr. Joe led us in a laying down meditation, using our breath to relax and surrender to the unknown. With our eyes closed, he led us into the blackness, the darkness behind our eyes. I followed that darkness into an invisible realm in the greater consciousness way out above the sky and galaxies. I surrendered to the mystical unknown not caring what happened. It was the last day so I was done "trying" to heal. And then in that moment of not caring, something odd began to occur in my feet. I saw myself floating in the vast nothing, then I was back to laying down somewhere. Suddenly there was a tingling sensation of electricity in my feet and it began to travel up my legs. My lower body felt like electrical currents were pulsing, and zapping out "things" in my body. I was a little frightened at first, but there was also this part of me that didn't care anymore. I didn't care what happened. I didn't care if something happened to me, if my heart stopped, or if I "left". And then out of nowhere, my mom appeared right before my face, as if she were REALLY there, not just a photo of her. It was SO REAL that I wanted to reach out to her and be held. Tears began to flow and my body began to shake as I tried holding back my sobs, and as I became more emotional, she began to drift further away. I called for her to come back and a knowing came to me, an awareness that I was causing her to drift away by my emotional state, so I told my "self" to calm down and allow her to come back. I kept telling myself to relax.
After a few minutes of observing her and myself, her face began to drift closer again and a beatiful smile crossed her lips. I felt her reach out and touch my hand, I felt held, comforted, but I couldn't move to hold her. Then her voice whispered in my ear, "I love you sweetie. It's time to let go." I HEARD these words from her voice. Then my tears began again. So much pain had been kept inside me. I held onto the suffering for so long as if holding onto it would somehow make the guilt of not protecting her would go away. Slowly she released me and backed away so I could see her face and then she thought words into my head, saying, "This face. Remember THIS face."
Suddenly I knew what she meant. She didn't want me to remember the face I saw that day I found her dead. She wanted me to remember this face, with her glasses on, the beautiful smile, a younger version before she started losing her teeth. This... was my mom, not the skin laying on the bed in the ICU room.
She kept drifting further away and I told myself to relax again so she would come back. I didn't want her to leave yet. But then the tingling began to get stronger in my body as it moved up through my stomach and into my heart. My heart felt like it was racing. That's when I became aware of little invisible beings hovering over me. Little blobs of entities sucking out the old blood that was filled with toxins, toxic thoughts and memories and emotions that had been eating away at my body. These entities sucked them right out, filtering my blood and that's when I realized this was why my body was tingling. I was getting my blood filtered, cleansing me of dis-ease. I could sense the tingling move up through my throat and into my jaw, moving energy into my mouth where the circulation had been altered by grief and anger and resentment. I saw my blood flowing freely throughout my body as I was given an upgrade. Then mom appeard in the distance again, faintly, I heard her say, "Everything is okay. You'll be okay." Then drifting away, her final words were, "Tom.. call Tom."
As I lay there feeling my body tingle, feeling grateful for this time with my mom, more thoughts entered my mind, "Show the family the healing techniques, do them with Josh and Melissa to help heal the past. Show Kk and Caden, James and Alycia and Kim and together we can help Big Jim with healing.
My body continued to tingle until Dr. Joe's voice caught my attention. Coming back to the awareness of laying in the ballroom among the many others, I felt great peace. I didn't want this time to end. I wanted to lay still and remember this, remember my mom's face. Then thinking of what just happened, I chuckled at what I expereinced with the tiny blobs filtering my blood. "What an imagination you have Gail Lynn" I thought. But then I wanted to cry for having seen my mom in a new light. I felt lighter and peace filled my whole being. And just as that feeling came, my mind flashed a picture of the doctors I met earlier in the week. I smiled thinking of that husband and wife who were mysteriously placed to sit next to me. Prior to the retreat, the word "doctor" made me angry and cringe with memories. But now, these people, were just two beautiful souls. Truly, I love them, regardless of their title. And in that moment I felt deep gratitude for meeting them. The anger and resentment I had been carrying towards medical personnel for the past two and a half years was gone.
As Dr. Joe finished, I sat up and looked around at all the people also completing the meditation. I felt a deeper compassion for all these people here, all the staff, the angel volunteers that had supported me through the week, and even got Dr. Joe. There were people laughing, some crying, some quickly standing and exiting to prepare for the next meditation we were to start within the next 15 minutes outside, The Body Electric, walking meditation.
So, still feeling as if in a trance, I slowly stood, leaving my blankets and pillow behind and exited the Gaylord to join the 1,700 other beautiful souls gathering on the lawn to begin the walking meditation. Hundreds of us were walking towards our next destination, some were maneuving their own wheelchairs, and others were being pushed in wheelchairs. It was a sight to remember. My body still tingling, I found a spot on the lawn to stand and prepared my phone and headset to begin. Individiually, we were to begin the prerecorded walking meditation as soon as we were ready, so I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and began.
Standing, listening to Dr. Joe's voice, following his commands to become aware of our first energy center and nothing else, I focused intensely on his voice, blocking out the hundreds of people who were still finding their spot to stand in order to begin the last meditation of the week. It was an exciting, emotional time for us all. Staying focused was easy. I wanted this healing and so did so many others who came to be healed.
Listening to the recording, I became aware of the tingling still occuring in my body, but then I went back to Dr. Joe's voice commanding me to be aware of the energy centers in my body. One energy center at a time, the music contributing to my pulsating body, I felt more energy coming in and moving up and down my body, throughout these centers, waking up my body to the greater energy available to me. I was focused, opening to the instructions, opening my heart, my mind, to recieve more and more. Soon, my body was pulsating energy from head to toe. I became one with the energy, the electricity. I felt totally alive, full of vitality! My body was ELECTRIC!! I could feel my head moving side to side, my shoulders moving, my arms and legs strengthening and beginning to bounce and then Dr. Joe spoke to me, commanding me to FEEL IT! My ENTIRE BODY was feeling electric, feeling EXCITED, feeling FREE!!!! And that was exactly when he commanded me to open my eyes, "FEEL IT".... "BECOME IT".... "HEAL".... "EMBODY IT"... "BECOME IT"..... "FEEL IT".... "THAT'S ENERGY FOR MY BODY".... "FEEL IT" ... "REMEMBER IT"..... so I DID!!! He said to walk, so I began walking, shoulders back, proud, happy, free, healed!!
Dr. Joe continued to talk to me through my headset as I walked, reminding me of this energy, my body, HEALED, reminding me to feel it... and I did! He told me to remember what I've accomplished in life this far and I did. I thought about how I overcame Lyme disease, a TIA, a mild heart attack... all these things that I almost threw away. And then I thought about being an author, writing two books, and how that experience allowed me to fearlessly help my mom the first two times she manifested trips to the hospital during December 2020 and January 2021. I remembered standing fearlessly at her bedside in the hospital in Pittsburgh, seeing her ventilated, her hands tied down, unsure whether she'd make it through the night. I remembered praying over her, protecting her with my words, defying the covid diagnosis and the deadly prognosis. And then the feeling of elation when 13 days later, she was released, I was released, as her personal soldier on her frontline, guarding her day in and day out. I suddenly felt invincible as I walked!
I walked and walked, passing by others, looking to the bright blue sky feeling amazing, feeling grateful, the sounds of the birds cheering me on as if mom was speaking through them cheering me on! I walked until Dr.Joe commanded me to stop walking and close my eyes again as he talked to my soul again.
Standing in front of a lake, eyes closed, he was commanding me to pay attention to my energy centers again and the energy of life pulsating through me. I felt as if I had suddenly won a prize. I felt elated, proud, relief, and so much gratitude. As words of inspiration poured out from Dr. Joe I felt as if I was becoming whole again. And that's when in my mind, I saw me, the girl who was knocked out of her body, hovering in the air on the other side of the lake. I looked at her as if she was a familiar stranger. I smiled at her and she smiled back. I motioned for her to come forward and I watched as she began to move slowly over the lake, then stop.
I motioned again, but she waited. That's when I asked her to come back and join me. "It's safe to come back now", I thought to her. And then as quick as a blink she rushed forward and merged with me. I felt my body shake and bounce. I began laughing just as I heard Dr. Joe say to open my eyes. Slowly, I opened them, feeling a bit unstable. I noticed a highway in the distance and then the lake where the other me had come from. And then this face, moving closer to me as if to catch me, with eyes so big, smiled. I smiled back, and through tears, whispered, "I'm back." I looked at her earnestly, wanting her to see me, the "me" that had been gone, was back!
I was elated!! "I'm BACK!!! I said again and running up to hug her, thank her, I told her again, "I'm back!!" Then a sudden urge came over me to run. I turned and ran.... I ran and ran and ran, with shoes flying off, I continued running until out of breath, I could run no more!
Putting my hands over my head to catch my breath, I slowed to a walk, strolling barefoot between the people until I heard Dr. Joe again telling me to stop, and then to lie down and so I did, resting in a flowerbed along the driveway, I closed my eyes integrating all that had occurred that morning.
Releasing the anger and resentment I had been carrying for so long, my body was healing. Feeling love towards Dr. Eduardo and Dr. Anna, towards Dr. Vida, I was healing. Having greater compassion towards those who do not understand what happened in our world, is healing.
I won the race. I won the journey. I won the prize. I opened my heart again. And this love, well, I unleashed it on another human who was also working on healing some health issues, including opening his heart. He was a receiver of our heart coherence healing group that afternoon and his smile was just as great if not greater than mine! He had a diagnosis he was contending with and opening his heart, feeling the love of seven of us extending our heart to him, may just be what he needed to turn his life around too!
More than ever, I know the effects of emotions on our physical body. The science proves it, now it's just a matter of the rest of the world catching up...and I'm here if you need help!
I'm back!!
Until next time, remember this, ANYTHING is possible for those who believe... and are willing to open their heart.
I love you,
Rev. Gail Lynn
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