The Heroine's Journey:
In my quest to heal Lyme disease, I discovered who I Am"
My HEROINE"S JOURNEY began with a not so ordinary life. Abuse and trauma began at a very young age. Obsessive compulsive behaviors became a mechanism to find comfort in an unstable world with a single parent and three siblings. Growing up in an environment feeling unworthy and unloved led to searching for worth and love my whole life.
Somewhere along the path of 50 years, I became a wife (twice) and mother of three beautiful children. I went back to school and then became an elementary school teacher. But the memories still haunted me of not being enough. Those memories were validated on July 4, 2011 when my latest partner and soul mate wrenched the engagement ring off my finger and left me. "YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH" slapped me in the face for the last time. And then within the hour, I got what author Joseph Campbell refers to as, "the call to adventure" ... my son was in a motorcycle accident... and that began a period of time where month after month I was faced with trials and tribulations... and wanting to die.
I crossed the threshold of what I could handle. As much as I loved my children, I just didn't love myself enough. I felt unworthy and unloved and unable to even care for my son. What I did, what I said, what I tried... was never enough. But then I was taken to a "special world'... a spiritual world where mentors began working with me to support me through this dark night of the soul. Lily Dale is the worlds largest spiritual community.
Their is an unseen World that is always present. That spiritual world speaks to us through our own gut feeling and intuition. I began developing that intuition and began understanding how being an "empath" meant I was susceptible to other people's feelings and emotions. Realizing that my whole life I had been taking on other's feelings, I began to make sense of my own life. The memories and emotions of my own mother and father were in me. Their trauma, fears, and unworthiness were held in memories in my cells too. I began to study energy and healing and REIKI and Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) and cellular memory and consciousness and spiritual healing and Ho'oponopono. I was beginning to understand the World on a whole new level! I began learning about ancient teachings from around the World. I read books by Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Greg Braden, Bruce Lipton, Neale Donald Walsch, Masuru Emoto and Neville Goddard. I read pieces of literature from all around the world. And then I run into my "ex" finance and the words between us were not kind.
July 2013, I have Lyme disease??? What is that??? Oh... so much pain.
More trials and tribulations... the spiritual people I have met don't seem so "spiritual" to me... where do I belong? In the belly of the whale... again I want to die. I am sick, alone, and just want to die. In 2014 I turn away from traditional medicine. Nothing is working. I'm not getting better. So a friend gives me a bottle of essential oils. What's this for?
The approach to the inner most cave... I had a mini stroke?
And my ex fiancé' was in the Emergency Room on the exact same day, at the exact same time I was there? Why?
The supreme ordeal... there is nothing to fear but fear itself. I AM important. My health and my life are important. I am going to Hawaii on a healing journey for the summer to get my life back and heal. So, why is my employer trying to fire me??? Don't I matter???
And then... I die and go to heaven... and an angel tells me I have a choice; I can continue to cross over or return to Earth. And then a voice reminds me, "your children need you. They need to know."
Dr. T... you are my Earth angel.
It's time for me to defeat the enemy... And how? I put into practice all that I learned through the belly of the whale. I put into practice all that the mentors and spiritual teachers taught me over the past eight years, all that I learned through my mistakes. And in doing so... I received the reward.... I got my health back! I have transformed! I am an alchemist! I AM the HEROINE of my life!!
The return.... I don't want to go back to New York. I found heaven on Earth. I got my life back! I found.... love. But I go back to my home in New York and to my job as an elementary school teacher and I find a letter from the superintendent..... I am being reassigned. Removed from my position as a third grade teacher the previous year and now from my PreK classroom, I am relocated to a storage room at the administration building the first week of school. I am told to not speak with anyone. I am told not to leave the room unless to use the bathroom or eat lunch. WHAT????
I am healthy!!! I got my life back!!! I am strong again!!! WHY???? What did I do wrong????
I am alive! Want to know how I overcame death? Want to know how I beat Lyme disease, a mini stroke, heart problems.... WHY I am healed... WhY I was pushed out of my classroom and my eighteen years as an elementary school teacher... why I was condemned.... why....
I AM the teacher....
I am the HEROINE of my life!
I have succeeded!
I have changed!
I have a new life!
I AM healthy!
I Am a teacher!
I AM the creator of my life!
I create each day of my life!
I have proof of the journey!
I AM the HEROINE of my life!